Why Do I Choose to Write About the Life and Passing of My Beautiful Daughter?
I’m often asked why I choose to write about the life and passing of my beautiful daughter, Madeline. Over the last 6 years, the reasons have been diverse. Sometimes it’s about an event that’s occurred that hits so close to home that I feel a need to share its relevance in my context. Perhaps it’s because I have a terrible day, and other times it’s because I’ve had a perfect one. Sometimes, the boys are not with me, and sometimes it’s because they are so close. Sometimes I write out of a sense of obligation, but mostly, I express how I truly feel. Often, I write for others, but usually, I write for myself. Sometimes it comes so easily, but lately, it doesn’t.
Truthfully, there are few times throughout the course of a day that Maddie isn’t on my mind or plays on my emotions. When I write, it’s my time committed to her. She gets a disproportionately small amount of time with me compared to the boys, but in a sense, she’s always with me. I sit down, and I commit to writing until completion. Rarely do I take a break. For me, writing makes my memories of Maddie more vivid. As the boys continue to grow up, she remains timeless. I never want to stop remembering, and I never want to lose the familiarity of her face, her laugh or her shocking sense of humour. Some of her past antics once may have made me angry, but now makes me smile.
Writing makes me feel grateful for Madeline. Not only do I value the time that we spent together, but I look back and realize how much she taught me about being a father, a friend and learning how to show compassion. So many lessons packed into such a short life.